Tag Archives: reflection

Wickedness

This is my world
Colored with rainbows and sunshine
Colored with shadows and rain
This world is mine
Thriving with innovation
Thriving with deprivation
This world – internalized
Dying with old age and excitements
Dying with abuse and pollutants

Have you noticed..

What is my obsession with time
Every moment tracked and monitored
I keep tabs on myself
Not to waste this oh so precious time
But am I not wasting it by tracking it?
A moment passes with each glance towards a clock
An hour passed as I scribbled my schedule
What is my obsession with time
This illusion we share
It controls me as I attempt to control it

My oldest foe

Bring to me my soul, dear heart ache. Where have you hidden me under this heart break. I wish to find me, so heartache reveal all you know. After all, you are my oldest foe. What have you learned, holding me close? You must show, for it is I that I do not know. Heart ache, familiar enemy, tell me where you’ve hidden me.

She Cried Why

Freestyle with my ukulele. A story of child abuse.

Just out of grasp

The year started with utter chaos. I had found myself after such long expanded attempts and have lost myself in an instant. How impeccably ironic. How insanely sane it is to be capable of losing your lives progress within a moment. And in what moment has it been lost? I cannot say. I view myself as unbreakable, yet break unknowingly rather quickly, I find when reflected on. Merely moments of weakness or truly breaching my limits? The fact that I am so incapable of answering these questions leads me to believe I have in fact lost myself. We all have an ideal self. But is this ideal who we truly think we are or just a socially portrayed idea of unobtainable perfection? I have the sense that I am a particular person and I cannot be happy unless I align my life with this mentally created happy version of myself. Is this not insanity? Is this not brilliance? I have an idea of exactly how to be happy and yet I refuse to let myself live this internal self. Is this due to external pressures insisting me to be someone else? Or possibly past habits that challenge my attempts to change? Honestly, deeply, is this what we are supposed to feel? I can see my soul, yet it’s just out of grasp.